


Pictures of You

by quiteliterally



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: I'm very sorry, M/M, harry loved taking pictures of louis, i'm not really sure what happened, louis loved harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-15
Updated: 2013-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-05 10:22:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiteliterally/pseuds/quiteliterally
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>basically harry takes pictures and louis takes harry's heart</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pictures of You

Harry loved to take pictures. 

Since he got his first camera at the age of ten, he was constantly snapping pictures, from silly pictures of Gemma or his mum and dad, to plants and animals on walks in the park. Most of them were too blurry to make out properly, but Anne still kept them. There was a photo album brimming with pictures Harry had took, and sometimes she'd still be able to place the moment they had been snapped.

When he turned twelve, and was gifted with a better camera, he promised to take care of it and not let anyone else use it. Over the two years, the prints had progressed from blurry pictures of his family and friends, to half-decent photos of family and friends. He was proud of them, and would often spend hours at a time pasting the best ones into a scrap book, and letting Anne have the ones that he didn't deem exceptional. 

At thirteen, he was told that it wasn't 'cool' to take pictures, especially when you're a guy, so he put his camera at the back of his wardrobe, only taking pictures on his mum's camera at family events. 

Fourteen passed by without a single picture taken, but Harry spent a lot of his time pouring over old photographs he had taken when he was younger, and thinking about how much better they would have gotten if he hadn't succumbed to peer pressure.

His fifteenth birthday was marked with the gift of a brand new camera, and Harry was both embarrassed and delighted with the present. On one hand, he was ashamed that he had given up such a big part of his life, but on the other, he was thrilled that he was given such a wonderful gift. At first, he took pictures of his friends, but every now and again a picture of a girlfriend or boyfriend would crop up, and he fell back into his previous habits of pasting his favourites into a scrapbook. 

Sixteen brought the X-Factor auditions, and Harry was constantly documenting the different experiences, from a funny-looking tree on the way to the first wave, to a sneaky picture of some of the contestants freaking out at the aired auditions. Gemma was quick to get a picture of Harry when he was put through, the huge grin plastered across his face. He made loads of friends during boot camp, quickly hitting it off with a certain Louis Tomlinson. Louis hated pictures being taken of him, so Harry always took them when Louis wasn't expecting it, which led to multiple photos of Louis with the oddest of expressions. Harry refused to delete them, and no matter how much Louis pulled a puppy-dog look, he wouldn't relent. 

When they were put together as a band, Harry couldn't stop taking pictures of the five of them, joking about how, if they planned on winning, they'd best get used to it. Zayn usually laughed it off, Niall continuously pulled provocative poses, and Liam would just smile like a normal person, quite possibly the most normal out of the five of them. And, of course, Louis would try his utmost to hide his face, using anything from a pillow to a shrub to avoid the camera. At first, Harry didn't mind, because it was just a Louis thing to do, but after flicking through his camera did he realise just how little pictures of the older boy did he have. 

As they progressed in the competition, Harry kept trying to get a picture of Louis when he was actually compliant, and didn't complain about how “they had pictures taken of them every day, why couldn't you just look at them when you wanted to remember something?”, because, as Harry continued to remind him, “it just wasn't the same thing, Lou.”

When they finally started dating (which was quite an awkward conversation about how they both just felt something different around each other than with the other boys), Harry wanted to get as many cute 'couply' pictures as possible. Louis was less resilient, and made more of an effort to look happy about having his picture taken. 

After being voted off, the five lads, though completely gutted, knew that it was only the beginning of their journey. Harry still couldn't help but take a few photos of the four others, but put his camera away when Zayn snapped at him that it really wasn't the time. 

Months passed, and their fame just grew and grew. Harry and Louis grew closer with it, as did Zayn and Liam. 

Harry could never really find the time to take many pictures (besides, there were so many of them being taken every day that he was rather sick of it, to be honest), but when he and Louis were alone in their home, he'd bring the camera out and snap a few pictures, occasionally sending a nice one home to Anne. 

But there were always pictures that Harry would never admit to his mother to having, like the few he had of Louis asleep after a long night of birthday sex, or the one of the two of them half undressed cuddling on the couch (and it wasn't the top half undressed, either). He was glad for the power of the internet, because there was no way he was going to send the camera roll to a photography shop for the prints to be developed. In the end, they transformed one of the smaller rooms into a dark room, and on their days off, Harry would spend a couple of hours developing them. 

He wouldn't admit it, but Louis was glad for Harry's love of taking pictures. When he would have a day off, and Harry was away doing something or other for management, Louis would pull out the photo album that Harry had started at the start of the X-Factor, and spend hours pouring over the pictures, occasionally laughing or cringing at some of them. 

As the years passed, and the two began to get serious and contemplated settling down, Louis allowed more pictures of him to be taken, less self-conscious as he moved into his twenties. Harry took full advantage of this, taking as many pictures as he could of his love before Louis would get tight-lipped and Harry knew that he was pushing it. 

Zayn and Liam were always good candidates for couple pictures, and Zayn was always begging Harry to hurry up and get the pictures printed. Harry wasn't surprised when one of his Christmas cards was a picture of the two, grinning stupidly at each other, with a “Merry Christmas!” spread across the front. Harry guessed it was Zayn's idea, considering Liam wasn't half as comfortable with sharing pictures of the two of them, on the off chance that one of them would get leaked, and their relationship would be found out. 

More years went by, and Harry continued to document their lives together, and even when the band split and the lads went off to do different things, they'd always make time for each other, because, really, they were basically brothers. 

When Louis and Harry were finally made fathers, Harry spent a large portion of his day taking pictures of their precious baby, and Louis was quick to remind Harry that flash wasn't a very good thing for a baby. Everything was caught on camera, from Darcy's first steps to her playing with her toys. And the two fathers weren't the only ones totally enamoured with the little one; the three other boys spoilt her rotten, and Harry would sometimes catch Zayn and Liam holding Darcy and discussing something in hushed tones. He shared this knowledge with Louis, who winked and replied that it would only be a matter of time that there was a new member to the One Direction family. Harry was quick to agree.

Their guesses were proved correct when Liam announced that they were expecting a boy sometime during July. Harry had his camera out taking pictures of the delighted couple for ages, and Liam was so ecstatic that he didn't even tell Harry that he was taking too many pictures.

More years passed, Louis and Harry celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary, Liam and Zayn had their son, and then adopted a little girl few years later. Niall finally settled down with a girl from his home town, and the band was planning a massive tour as a final farewell to 'One Direction'. 

Harry still took his pictures. 

Three years after the band split for the final time, Louis was turning forty seven and Harry forty five. Louis was dying of cancer, and Harry was dying of heartache. 

He had been given six months left to live, and Harry was determined to make the absolute best of those short months. He did anything Louis asked him, fetched him water when it was asked, and took him out to a swanky restaurant once a week. For once, Louis never said anything about all the pictures Harry was taking, because he knew that, when he was gone, Harry would want something to look at to remind him of Louis. They told each other every day how much they loved the other, and Liam and Zayn and Niall practically moved in with the husbands, in a bid to get the most out of Louis' last short months alive. Darcy shared her bedroom with Austin and Shawna (Zayn and Liam's children), and the three other lads pulled mattresses into Harry and Louis' room, just like old times. It wasn't as if they minded, really. They were losing just as big a part of their life as Harry was. 

Throughout it all, Louis kept a smile on his face, but Harry could always tell when he didn't really mean it. The other three either didn't see it, or pretended that Louis wasn't faking he was okay, and that things were normal again. 

With two months left, Louis had a bad turn, and he had to be moved to a hospital. Harry took up residence in the chair next to his bed, and would only leave Louis' side to go home and change, or get clean clothes. Darcy and the boys would come in every day, not leaving until visiting time was over. For the first time, Louis suggested that Harry bring his camera with him the next time he went home, and Harry had to swallow a sob. He knew that it was Louis way of telling him that his time was nearly up, that he was just trying to give Harry something to hang on to. 

On the day of Louis last breath, Harry didn't cry. He couldn't. The media was everywhere, trying to get him to say a few words about his deceased. Nothing. He said nothing.

The funeral was the worst. It was a quiet mass, and Harry had a hard time writing what he would say about his wonderful husband. He finally came up with something, but he could barely finish saying it before the first tears since Louis' diagnosis was confirmed that he started crying. Liam stood up and helped him back to his seat, comforting him while Darcy spoke a few words about her father.

For two weeks after the funeral, he shut himself in his room, flicking through photo album after photo album, picture of Louis after picture of Louis. Sixteen-year-old Darcy would bring him food, and he would pick at it before setting the tray down on the floor again. 

Eventually, he realised that Louis wouldn't want him to be so upset, so he pulled back his curtains, took a shower and changed into clean clothes, and called Liam and Zayn over. Niall, after breaking up with his girlfriend, took it into his own hands to look after the small Styles-Tomlinson family, and Harry had never felt so blessed to have such amazing friends. 

The four of them sat around the kitchen table for a few hours, talking about how much of a chance it had been that they were put together as a group all those years ago, in a long forgotten TV show, and how different their lives would have been. They talked and laughed about the funny things that had happened to them, ranging from the girl in the bin that one time, to the girls that were convinced they were going to marry at least one of the boys. They talked about Louis, how big a part of their lives he was, and how much they'd miss him. More than a few tears were shed, but Harry did admit that he felt somewhat better after the meet-up, and hugged each boy goodbye when the time came. 

That night, Harry avoided thinking about Louis, and just fell into bed, not even stirring when Darcy slipped in at half-three, mumbling something about a nightmare. 

Years went by, and, though the pain never subsided, it became somewhat numb, and Harry found that it was becoming easier and easier to think about Louis. But after a few bad nights, he decided that he would write Louis a letter, because he felt that enough time had passed that Louis might have forgotten how much Harry loved him. (In reality, Harry was actually more afraid of whether he had forgotten how much he loved Louis, and felt that writing a letter was a good way to remember Louis. Writing letters were always a good idea.)

It took days of thinking and more than enough scribbled-out words and smudges that Harry was finally happy with the letter, and even then he knew more could go in it. 

Dear Louis, 

Sometimes it's a shock when I realise how much time has passed since I last saw your smile. God, I can't even describe how much I miss it. 

I think I'm okay. Obviously, I'll never be 100% again, because you were always fifty percent of my being, as corny as that sounds. But I do really miss you, and so does Darcy, and all the other guys. Darcy and Austin even started dating! It came as a shock, but it's nice. They make a cute couple, and I wish you were here to see them together. I was a bit sceptical at first, but then, any boy raised by Liam is less likely to break someone's heart in the worst way possible. They're so in love, Louis. I sometimes see us in them, how much they care for each other. The fond looks and tender gestures. Like straight versions of us. Obviously you'd have been Darcy, though. 

Wow, writing this letter is harder than I thought it'd be. Maybe I'm thinking too much, or maybe I'm not thinking enough. 

I think about you every day. Your smile is in the sun, your being everywhere I go. It's as if everywhere I go, you're there, ready to remind me of you. I miss you so damn much, and every day is harder than the last. You were such a big part of my life, and I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of it.

Lou, this letter is proving harder to write than I thought it'd be, so please don't kill me for how short it is. 

I stopped taking pictures after you died. I know you're probably shaking your head, but honestly, Lou, I just can't. I can't bring myself to take a picture, because, after looking through my camera, I realised that you were in every single one. Even if it was just an odd limb or a discarded shoe, you were in it one way or another, and I don't think I'd be able to take them and know that nothing of you is going to be present. 

At least I have the pictures of you. I don't really like looking at the pictures during your last few months, when you started looking sicker and sicker, but sometimes I do, to remind myself that it really did happen, you really did leave this world, leave me. 

I'm sorry, you're probably laughing at how sappy this is. But, god Lou, I just miss you so much I don't know how I'm going to cope with the rest of my life without you. 

I love you more and more every day, 

Harry Tomlinson x

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so sorry


End file.
